At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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