i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
