But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
