one word: firstdatebathroomanal
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
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