it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
