he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
