can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
