I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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