Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
