Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Drunk is not a location!
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
