Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
