i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
