Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
