We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
