did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
