ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Couch. On fire.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
