Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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