I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
