I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
