My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
