So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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