i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
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