I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
