You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
