why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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