I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
