So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
