Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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