We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
