What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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