im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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