Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(124): View more from

Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.

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(316): View more from Kansas

his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball

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(952): View more from Minnesota

Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.

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(330): View more from Ohio

we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.

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(432): View more from Texas

I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.

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(913): View more from Kansas

To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!

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(702): View more from Nevada

Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.

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(847): View more from Illinois

My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE

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(310): View more from California

That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering

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