Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I just want to make out with him forever
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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