apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
