I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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