our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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