the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
