someone threw a dead crab at me
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
