...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I supernannyed him into submission
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
