I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
