Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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