What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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