It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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