Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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