he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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