I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
