he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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