I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I will die if light touches me.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
