Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
