There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
