lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Enjoy the penises
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
