Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
