Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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