idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
