What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
