all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
