Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
