so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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