He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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