My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
